End of Lent: Part One

So, not being Catholic, I didn't realize that Lent officially ends on Thursday (Maundy Thursday). Of course, it depends on where you get your information too. It seems that not all websites agree with a starting and ending date for Lent. Sometimes Sunday's are not counted in the forty days. Regardless, I kept my end of the bargain for forty days and that makes me happy.

My sacrifice for Lent was to give up sugar. All sugar, save that which occurs naturally in fruit. It was either sugar or the Internet, so I guess you know where my priorities are. To be honest, the first two weeks were difficult, but not impossible. Sure, I whined to my family and promised that I was indeed going to bake and eat a slice of cake as soon as my forty days were up.

The greatest challenge regarding the sacrifice was warding off the sweet advances of others. Because I didn't want to act the role of the martyr I refrained from sharing my Lenten journey with anyone outside my home. I did not realize what a role sugar takes in entertaining. I passed up cookies offered by my sons landlords. I had my dessert from the fancy pants restaurant boxed up and gave it to my children. I refused gum, candies, and all sorts of gooey yummies that I swear wore the face of Satan! Okay, not really, but I honestly didn't realize how often someone offers me a sugar filled treat.

How then did the sacrifice affect my spiritual life? Basically, it taught me that if my focus is in the right place (God) than nothing is impossible. Giving up sugar was not that hard. I suppose that because I was giving something up for the Lord, that it was easier NOT to give in. Let's face it, if you are giving your word (promise) to the  Almighty...well, it's easier to keep.

But from my understanding, the Lenten sacrifice should cycle into more than a mere temporary sacrifice. It should transform my life. Let's face it, sugar, in all it's glorious yumminess, is not good for me (or you). If I am to truly learn anything from this season, I should have learned that my life is actually better without sugar. I do believe this be true. I learned that the pure, unaltered sweetness of fruit is far better tasting than that of the processed treats I am use to.

I've decided to continue my "fast" of sugar in that it should be an occasional treat not an every day event.

I'm also considering that next year my sacrifice for Lent should revolve around actions or character flaws that are keeping me from a closer relationship with God. Maybe, just maybe, I'm getting the hang of this Lent idea.

Later, I'll write about my spiritual journey during Lent and where it led me and where I feel I failed.

Lent: Week Four - Y'all Got Faith?

Hard to believe isn't it? Week four and still holding steady to my sacrifice.

Last week I left my job of nearly three years. It wasn't an easy decision, as I mentioned in a recent post, but I thought it was the right decision.

Easy = Right?

My Bible study during this season of Lent has been about Faith. Having it, grasping it, longing for more of it. And things were floating right along. That is until I came to understand a few things about the new job.

It ain't no picnic sistah!

Not that it's bad, not at all. It's just I learned new information (stuff I thought I read and understood) and it freaked me out. Then I worried about hours.I wondered about leadership. I fretted over connecting to this new environment.

And I questioned what I thought I heard God say. I don't know about you, but sometimes I'm not sure I actually hear anything. Sometimes I think it's just my desire and not His will. Know what I mean?

I have faith that He is who He says He is. I believe all of His promises and can testify to the change in my life since I began following Jesus. And yet I am sitting right here worrying about paying bills.

Trivial, I know.

Today, during my Bible reading, He gave me a good swift kick in the pants with this verse:

"Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?"

Jesus said this in Luke 18:8b

And I shuddered thinking about how faithless I am. Let's face it, you either have faith or you don't. It's simple. If you really believe, than you have faith. If you stop believing, I don't think you really ever had faith.

(But we won't get all Calvinist and Armenianist today)

Then I worried and pondered my tiny faith. One would think after all these years that I would be a GIANT of faith. Oh, sure, I can stretch myself nice and tall and make the world think I'm a giant, but the truth is...I am an ant.

A slug.

The greatest of all sinners.

For a mere second I began to lose hope that my faith could or would be anything other than the filthy offering it is.

Then Jesus said this:

"The things which are impossible with men are possible with God." Luke 18:27

And then I realized that once again I am trying to make this whole Christianity thing about me. Well, it's not about me...it's about Him. It's about His sacrifice, His strength, and His will.

He called me. He saved me. He expects faith and passion and commitment. In return, He gives me the faith to believe.

And it's all I can do.

So I wrote out my tithe check and paid the bills. I went to the grocery store. I didn't cancel my hair appointment. I will have faith that Jesus will see to our needs (not necessarily my wants). I will have faith that He can oversee this whole big world without my help. I'll believe that He will prosper the business I'm in.

It's the best I can do.

Lent: Three Weeks and Counting

Tada!

I've survived three weeks of Lent and haven't wavered on my sacrifice. The funny thing it has actually gotten easier to not obsess over it. In all honesty, those first couple of weeks were not so much fun and while my sacrifice will not change the world, it is changing me.

I've learned that faith is a powerful tool and it makes you stronger.

I've decided that giving something up for God makes you want to stick to your word.

Another interesting thing that is happening is my desire to share my faith with a friend. I'm not a pushy, Bible thumper. If you ask, I'll tell ya what I think, believe, and feel, but I've never been all that great at bringing in the harvest...so to speak.

Oh sure, I've shared my story and told how wonderfully my life, marriage, and family have changed since I became a Christian, but I'm not a town cryer. I'll disagree with you over matters of faith. You know, like if you tell me you believe in Karma (didn't I go to high school with her?) and you ask if I do, I'll tell you nope and smile. If you ask what I believe, watch out, I'll tell you straight up.

It's the opening up the conversation with a friend, where it get's a little sticky. There are words that need to be said, if only I can get them out.

Why am I so afraid?


"Here I Go Again" Performed by Casting Crowns

Father, hear my prayer
I need the perfect words
Words that he will hear
And know they're straight from You
I don't know what to say
I only know it hurts
To see my only friend slowly fade away

So maybe this time I'll speak the words of life
With Your fire in my eyes
But that old familiar fear is tearing at my words
What am I so afraid of?

'Cause here I go again
Talkin 'bout the rain
And mulling over things that won't live past today
And as I dance around the truth
Time is not his friend
This might be my last chance to tell him 
That You love Him
But here I go again, here I go again

Lord, You love him so, You gave Your only Son
If he will just believe; he will never die
But how then will he know what he has never heard
Lord he has never seen mirrored in my life

This might be my last chance to tell him
That You love him
This might be my last chance to tell him
That You love him
You love him, You love him

What Am I so afraid 
What am I so afraid
What am I so afraid of?
How then will he know
What he has never heard 

Lent: Week Two

Here we are two weeks into Lent. One very surprising thing has happened: I haven't shared with anyone what I gave up for Lent. Seriously, I do lurve to talk...but I've kept a lid on it and in some instances that's been a challenge too.

Beloved on the other hand spilled the beans. In his defense he didn't realize that I was keeping it a secrety-secret. Truly, it's not a big deal. It's not an earth shattering thing, I just don't want to seem like a martyr or give myself the slightest notion that I can whine about how hard it is to give up X.

Is anyone else like me? Wanting affirmation or pity or crap...Why isn't God's approval enough?

What isn't surprising is that I haven't been as "devout" as I thought I woulda, coulda, shoulda been. My Bible reading was kinda hit and miss last week...okay, it was more miss than hit. My prayer life was okay, but I have found myself slipping back into one bad habit: praying in bed before I go to sleep.

Now, don't judge me! You've done it too! You're all snuggled under the blankets and praying for this or that, thanking God for all that you have, asking to be forgiven because you're a big doof (translate that as chief sinner and all around selfish pig)....when you wake up the next morning.....

I know how to rectify the situation and have implemented a new nightly prayer plan. We'll see how it goes.

Thus far, I think that Lent has been at least a moderate success. I've kept my promise to God and not dabbled in X. I'm more aware of God in my everyday life, or at least I'm realizing that He wants to spend time with me before I start snoring. I am actually reading my Bible...for the most part. And, I'm learning some new things about God and myself.

I'm also starting to envy my Catholic buddies who can celebrate (not sure if that is the right word) Mass every day which I'm certain helps to keep them on track.

On a related side note: we may have found a new church. The jury is still out.

So, the two week Lent wrap up is this: I didn't do as well as I could have, but I didn't faultier on my sacrifice.

And there are still four weeks left.

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak!

One Week of Lent for a Protestant Girl

Today marks the one week mark of Lent. You may recall that I decided to jump on the band wagon and see what this whole Lent thing was about. Let me just say, it's been enlightening. Before engaging in this spiritual journey I had to decide what to give up...what sacrifice to make...And I didn't want it to be trivial. I decided on something I knew I would struggle with, but that wasn't so earth shatteringly life changing that I couldn't succeed.

I'm a Lent virgin, cut me some slack.

Since I didn't want to go about with my "Look at poor me...I'm sacrificing here!" face on, I kept my little sacrifice to myself. Okay, I told the family, because trust me, they always sniff out a secret, otherwise, no one knows. I'll tell y'all after Easter and we can laugh about all the struggles I had and what I learned along the way.

The other part of Lent, the focus and mediating part, is coming along. I keep a journal and am recording my daily readings and thoughts. It will be interesting to go back and see the entire puzzle come together when these forty days are up.

My prayer life is stronger. Of course, there is so much to pray for isn't there?

Japan....

A girlfriends struggles...

Boy's future...

Girl's future...

And so much more. It's nice to realize that I'm having more conversations with God and not just quick little, "Hey, how ya doin? Could you take care of this for me?" kind of prayers.

I'd like to say that my attitude is better and I suppose in some ways it is. I feel happier, but I'm still sarcastic. I'm still snotty. I'm still...me...

I am only perfect in my imperfection.

As I begin week two of Lent I admit that I am startled by how many more days there are until Easter. Part of me thinks I'm a bozo for attempting this. That side of me tempts and teases me. Then I think how could I possibly go back on my sacrifice? I mean, it's not like I promised just anyone, I promised the Lord God Almighty!

Lent = Guilt?

Is it guilt that keeps me on this righteous path? Or is there something more? Could it be that I desire to truly give something to God, even though it is little and pathetic?

Lent = Devotion

Time will tell. For now I am staying the course and trying not to make excuses or allow loop holes for myself to fall through. However, I admit that I am still eating meat on Fridays...but I'm not Catholic so I'm not sure it matters.

One thing is for certain, during this last week I have been reminded of how great God's love is for people and that is a great thing to know.

Lent: A Protestant Perspective

From my understanding, Lent is the period of the liturgical year leading up to Easter. It is a time of sacrifice for Jesus Christ. The purpose of Lent it to prepare the believer for Holy Week, which ends with the celebration of the Resurrection of Christ at Easter. 


Through prayer, self examination, sacrifice, and repentance the believer gains a better understanding of who they are and who Christ is in them. 


I've always been intrigued by Lent. I have friends, both Catholic and Protestant who participate each year. Because I feel it's a personal journey I have never asked all those in-depth questions that stir round my mind about Lent. 


Did you actually stick to your sacrifice?
Did you pray more?
Did you read more?
What did you come away with?


This year, beginning today actually, I've decided to take part in the reflection and tradition of Lent. 


Is this blasphemy? I mean, I'm not Catholic...


Because, as I mentioned above, I feel that this must be a personal journey, I won't be sharing what my sacrifice is. Instead, I hope to share with you what I am learning along the way. I must admit that I am excited about the focus my life will take for the next forty days. 


It does seem that this is a time of change in our home. We may have found a new church, there are employment changes coming and spring is nearly upon us. I feel a sense of anticipation, like a small child does at Christmas time, to see what things are revealed to me. 


I have decided to focus on Faith and lay aside my study of Purpose. Here is today's verse from Psalm 143: 5-9:

I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your works; I muse on the work of Your hands. I spread out my hands to You; my soul longs for You like a thirsty land. Answer me speedily, O Lord; my spirit fails! Do not hide Your face from me, lest I be like those who go down into the pit. Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, for in You do I trust; cause me to know the way in which I should walk, for I left up my soul to you. Deliver me, O Lord, from my enemies; in You I take shelter.

We have a choice each day: we can be pulled down by the worries and cares of this world -or- we can focus on the love of God and His plan for our lives.