Friday, July 16, 2010

Inky

I was taken to task the other day about a not so nice post on my Facebook. It was something about having a conversation with an idiot.

...

Because you read this blog, y'all know I ain't perfect. I'm flawed. I'm sarcastic. I'm angry. I'm a wanna be, but not so much as to actually do it, kinda girl.

I don't fit in.

I don't dress like the others anymore.

I stopped caring about what other people think.

FREEDOM!

She's an old friend, this task master, pointer-outter-of bad displays of public snarkiness, of mine.

She's kind and sweet and wholesome and intelligent and nosy.

Her kid was the one who told my kid that she was WORDLY and that the only reason that I went back to work was because I was BORED.

I'm still waiting for an apology.

Don't think it's coming.

Anywho, she gave me the whole salt and light speech, which I totally deserved. Totally. As a Christian woman I should know better.

I know...I really should and I know that God is usually looking at me and wondering when I am going to get my act together. He's a patient guy, this God of mine. Which rocks, because I'm pretty much a first class screw up.

I wish I were better. I wish that every thought in my head was good and that I spoke with wisdom instead of sarcasm. If I were nicer...or a better Christian...or a stronger Christian...

If only.

But something happened to me last year. I realized that I don't have to be what others want me to be. I can still be quirky and love Jesus. Shocking, I know.

I don't have to wear a dress to give  Glory to the King.

I don't have to fit in the box or color in the lines. I know what I know. I believe what I believe. No one can take that from me and frankly, it's pretty much no body's business anyway.

I thanked my friend for her thoughts and I know she's right about my snotty attitude. I just wish I could squash the rebellion in my soul. Because it's getting pretty bad in here folks. I want to do what I want to do and I don't want anyone telling me no.

'Cept maybe God. After all, He's the big guy and every ones gotta have an answer for Him sooner or later.

I'm wondering how He feels about tattoos.........Does it make a difference if it's a Jesus tattoo?

Mercy.

I'm going to hell.

4 comments:

Patti said...

instead if this: I can still be quirky and love Jesus.

how about this: I can still be quirky and Jesus will love me.

T. Paine said...

Wow. I could easily have written that post... except the part about wearing a dress.... :)

Island Rider said...

I want a tattoo, too! Just a little one somewhere discreet. My husband thinks I have lost my mind. I told him when I am in a nursing home, I want the aides to see it and remember I was young like them once upon a time. One of these days, I am going to send you an e-mail. Or maybe I will post a blog about it. Because, I have a lot to say about the empty nest and getting to mid life. And it is all good. PS I have someone in my life just like your friend. I know God will have a lot to talk to me about my behavior when I go to heaven, but it comforts me to know He will be confronting her too.

wendybird said...

Well, if a tattoo or piercing is gonna keep someone out of Heaven I don't have a chance!!!! 6 tattoos, 11 piercings...and I'm Jewish!!!!But I love Yeshua!!!!!! Do not listen to her Ann. I wouldn't want you any other way than the amazing, funny woman that G-d created.

We all need improvement and to be more obedient, but He knows our hearts.....Thank G-d!