Friday, August 28, 2009

Wishful

I wish I had wings. Think of all the traffic you could avoid. The places you could get to in a hurry.

I wish I could cure cancer. What a hero I would be. Think of the families that would never know the sting of a long, drawn out death by cancer.

I wish I could deal with difficult people in a way that was more bark and less bite. Would I make more friends? Or would I simply not regret the harshness of my words.

I wish I wasn't so darn emotional. Sigh.

My Omi is dying. They discovered ovarian cancer earlier this week. I'm not a fool. I think she's been sick with it for a long time, but no one thought to check. She's eightish, a diabetic, with some other issues. The doctor wants to talk about treatments...

Yeah, that's what I thought too.

Leaver her alone!

If I could fly, I would already be down where she lives so she wouldn't be alone. As it is, it'll be a week before I can leave.

If I could cure cancer, I'd give her whatever time being cancer free would give her.

If I can control my bite, I'll only bark a little when the manager of the assisted living, the social worker, the doctor, and anyone else within biting distance won't have any teeth marks.

She's my grandmother. Mine! I have every right to want her moved up near my home. I have every right to support whatever decision she makes. She's not the only stubborn German in this family.

And I have every right to hear the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

Don't sugar coat it. I can handle it.

I'll cry. That I promise, but I'll also listen and help Omi make good choices.

Mostly, I wish I didn't have to deal with any of this.

11 comments:

Patti said...

i'm so sorry for this news and for your omi, but i'm with you: LEAVE HER ALONE. prayers for all.

Roo said...

{{{{{HUGS}}}} Know that you do not go alone. We'll all be with you in thought and prayer. I agree as well, leave her alone. Make her comfortable and let her finish out her life in the way that she chooses.

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Oh, girl. I'm so sorry for your Omi. You do what you can and be the awesome granddaughter you are. We'll be here for you!

Prayers your Omi's way...

tootie said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I'll definitely pray for you and your Omi.

Anonymous said...

I love you. I'm so glad you have a place...like this...to express yourself. This is your therapy!!! Much better than mine. :) Call me...just to talk...to cry..whatever...G-d knows you've been there for me.

Love you forever,
wen

Island Rider said...

I'm so sorry. Will be praying for you and your grandmother.

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

Hi Annie -

Praying for your Omi and for you.

Blessings,
Susan

Mike T. said...

Mrs. Annie, God bless you and your Omi. May He give you and her comfort and peace in the days to come. I will keep you and her in my prayers, my friend!

Bee and Rose said...

My Sweet Friend...I am here for you...believe me...I'm a stubborn German girl too!

I'm sending you loads of hugs and prayers for you and your Omi... Your words on my post the other day really lifted my heavy heart. I am truly grateful for each and every word. Thank you, Annie...you are an amazing woman...

Amber said...

I love you and you know I am here for you, wherever I may be at the time. Call me if you wanna chat. I'll have a local number for you to call as soon as I get where I'm going. Praying for you and Omi. I love you so so much!

chatkat9731 said...

I am sorry, dear Annie! I am praying for you and your Omi.

Kat