Monday, August 31, 2009

12 Minutes

In twelve minutes I learned that I was a disrespectful child. I have an anger issue. I am a liar. In twelve minutes all hope I had hidden deep within my heart faded. That small olive branch I'd careful grown had withered and died. In twelve minutes I was made to feel like the village idiot.

Well, you know, someone has to be the idiot.

In twelve minutes I realized that some things cannot be fixed.

And that it's not always my fault.

And that I cannot change who I am.

And that I really don't want to.

In twelve minutes I finally figured out that sometimes enough is enough.

After those twelve minutes passed...I had a good cry.

In the hours following I thrashed the conversation around in my mind. I talked to Beloved, who reminded me that those people are psycho. I talked the Golden Child, who for once in our lives took my side. I talked to Soldier Mommy who called to remind me that she thinks I'm wonderful. I talked to the Singer who promised to smack me hard should I try to grow another olive branch or wave any form of a white flag.

In twelve minutes I became an orphan and than just a short time later I remembered that I have a perfect Father. One who knows me. One who loves me. One who doesn't play little back-stabbing games or thrive on drama.

Twelve minutes made me sad, but I'll have all of eternity to spend with the One who loved me enough to die for me.

Thanks Dad. I needed that.


Amber said...

YAY! I'm so sorry you had to endure that, but I'm so happy you know who loves you! You have family, friends and a perfect Father who all love you.

You are amazing!

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

He's the Father to the fatherless. And you, my dear, are in GOOD hands. Be at peace.

Island Rider said...

The Father Who Never Fails Us.

Roo said...

I'm sorry for the pain you've endured, but am happy you know who truly loves and cares for you. I am also extremely happy that your siblings can appreciate and love you as well.

Just keep remembering that big arm around your shoulder and who you truly belong to. HE LOVES YOU UNCONDITIONALLY.

Annie said...

You are all so kind. Thank you for your words and for "listening" to me rant, rave, and ponder.

Anonymous said...

I love you. I now know that "HE" is my husband....for you.....your "FATHER"....let's hold on to that fact. :) Lalalala

The Singer :)

Anonymous said...

I am sorry . . . .

I love you,