And the Academy Award Goes To: Annie!

Weird Hippy Girl, I've renamed her you see. Idiot wasn't very nice. Not really and I try not to be too mean or too nasty. Honest.

She, Weird Hippy Girl, formerly known as Idiot Hippy Girl, is the bane of my existence. Okay, not so much the bane as an annoyance. She's the wrench in my job, the tack in the road, the mouse stealing the cheese.

mmmmm.....cheese....

So. Weird Hippy Girl joined our gym on a temporary basis (woot!) and her thirty days is just about up. When we run a promotion such as this, we always want to sit down with the prospective member and talk about their experience with us. Usually, and trust me dahling, we are fabulous, the conversation is super positive and the prospective member becomes an actual member.

She's so happy!

She's lost weight!

She's lost inches!

She's sleeping better!

She feels less stressed!

These are moments that we love. It proves to the individual that our program works like we say it does, fast, fun, and safe!

I knew going into this meeting that it would be different. Weird Hippy Girl wasn't happy that she'd lost weight and inches. She wasn't impressed by the fact that her body fat decreased. Like she told me, "I lose weight every summer without working my a** off!"

Okkaaayyy....

As I directed her to our meeting table, smile plastered on my face, she told me she had some suggestions for us. 

Terrific...

First, she pointed out that we do not carry enough food preparation items, such as food scales. She informed me that our "diet book" (which isn't a "diet book" duh!) lacked all the calories for all the foods she'd eaten. Weird Hippy Girl was perplexed as to how to find the calorie count of a banana or white rice or a maple glazed donut. 

I made up that last one...just so you know.

I kindly shared that she could find a food scale for a very reasonable price at our local Target store. I also shared the website for an awesome health and fitness site that includes a calorie counter. Then I told her, "If all else fails, you can Google calorie counter."

I was pleasant. I was smiling. I knew that the interview was nearly over and that she had no intention of joining, but still it was my job to impress on her the importance and value of your gym in her life.

Weird Hippy Girl wants to investigate other gyms (please do!) and look for the best value for her money. I pointed out that at another gym she will have to pay a personal trainer by the hour for the type of attention we provide her as part of her membership. I described the value of a 30-minute workout verses a 90-minute workout. Of course, I also exalted all the FUN and WONDERFUL women who make up our little gym. And I reminded her that we have the most advanced workout system available all a part of the great value that is Curves.

She couldn't deny any of what I said and I was just beginning to see the end of our time together when she looked me dead in the eye and said, "I have suggestions for you as well."

Just so you know, I did suffer a tiny little stroke at that very moment. It took every fiber of my being not to thrash that woman to the floor and throw her out of my gym. 

Weird Hippy Girl explained that she is an accountant (well, good for her!) and that when you work with numbers you never manipulate them to say what you want them to say. She accused me of doing that at her weigh in. She said that I soon as I surmised that she was not happy with her results, I twisted my approach and asked her if she felt better or was sleeping better since joining the gym. 

She said I tried to manipulate her into a sale and that was underhanded.

Sigh.

I smiled my brightest smile and explained that fitness is not just about losing inches, it's about total body health.  A person who eats well and works out will experience many wonderful results. Health is a puzzle with many pieces. I explained that a woman who has a sedentary job (such as hers) limited social life (again, hers), who is dealing with high stress (bingo!) and a lousy diet usually doesn't sleep well, suffers from depression, and has an entire list of health problems.

When that woman begins to exercise and eat better, something amazing happens! She loses weight. She feels better physically, she's happier - thanks to all those endorphins, she sleeps better and she is more apt to have an uplifting and positive social life. All this from 30-minutes of exercise, three times per week. 

I sat back in my chair and noted that I had gotten through to Weird Hippy Girl. She noted that I had a strong argument and that we (myself and my co-workers) had all been very kind to her, but she still wasn't joining.

And I cried bitter, bitter tears and begged her to join....

Not really. 

Weird Hippy Girl has two days left at our little gym. With any luck, I'll never see her again. 

It almost makes me feel sorry for the folks down the street at the other gym.

Okay, not really....

I told my manager that I either deserve an Academy Award or combat pay.

I'd like to thank the Academy for this lovely, lovely award. I wouldn't be where I am now if it weren't for my dahling children, my amazing husband, and my teammates at Curves. Thank you! You like me! You really like me!

Snicker