Seventy-Five

I'd like to order the high cholesterol, high fat, high sugar, guaranteed to burst an artery breakfast. I'll have a regular Pepsi and a side of cinnamon roll please.

Could I also get a tall glass of whole milk?

Awesome!

Reality, of course, is not this. This is what you eat when you are twenty and still fit into your husbands jeans. This is what you eat when you are out with friends at 2:00am after leaving the club.

This is what you eat and makes you happy.

And you never give it a second thought.

Until you turn forty.

Okay, so the whole eat better, low fat, high fiber gig goes on. I'm a few pounds down from last week which makes me happy.

I am indeed a superhero. Tis true! I can whoosh through the drive thru at Jack in the Box, swipe a chocolate shake and three mini sirloin burgers, speed home and deliver them, unhandled, sniffled or nibbled on, to my FIL.

He's seventy-five and eats any damn thing he wants.

I told him he should eat more vegetables. He laughed at me and told me he wants ice cream for dinner.

I wish I was seventy-five.