Last Friday Beloved and I made a quick stop at Walmart on our way to visit Boy. We were only going to pick up a flash drive and some toothpaste for Boy, but we were sucked into the price paradise that is Wally World. We bought cereal, fishy crackers (for Master Smiley), something else I cannot remember and then we decided to check the prices on flat screen televisions.
You may recall that we do not watch TV since the government took control of the airwaves. We have Netflix and a computer, thus we are pretty happy folks.
But those shiny, new television just draw the eye. You know what I mean. They are slick and beautiful and so far beyond the television that we all grew up with that, frankly, ya just gotta take a gander!
Beloved found one he liked, great picture, good price. The problems began when he started pressing for more information regarding the actually size of the blasted thing. The salesman, a man about my father's age, tried to help. He really did. The posted sign said one thing, while the actual box said another.
ALWAYS READ THE FINE PRINT
We decided not to purchase the new set since Wally World couldn't decide on the actual size of the set, what coverage it came with, and if the price stated was the actual price. The poor salesman kept looking at Beloved, waiting for him to blow his stack. He wouldn't have, of course, not over something as trivial as a television set, but the salesman didn't know that. Poor guy. He just kept apologizing while keeping a close eye on Beloved.
He finally started breathing again when he realized that we weren't angry and we weren't packing.
At the checkout I left Beloved to visit the ladies room, always an adventure at Walmart. Have you noticed that?
On my way out, I was nearly run over by a young woman who was busily reading the instructions on a pregnancy test.
Who takes a pregnancy test in a Walmart bathroom?
Aren't those things more accurate in the morning?
Leaving the store, I told Beloved about the possibly pregnant steam roller. He described her and said that she had been in line in front of him. He smiled and said, "She liked me." He went on to discuss how chatty she was. How friendly.
Rolling my eyes I retorted, "Of course she did. You probably could have bought her a kiddie meal at McDonalds after she finished checking for that pink line."
My question is, are all people who shop at Walmart so....interesting? I seldom shop there because we do not have one in our area. I've heard tales of the things you can see at Walmart and I'm starting to believe these wild tales are true.
No wonder the rest of the world things we're idiots.