Now I've Got YOU!

Right now, Jurassic Park is playing above my head. I know it's Jurassic Park because I can clearly (clearly!) hear the growling, snarling, burping of the dinosaurs.

My FIL is not deaf.

He simply likes the sound on his television set to be LOUD.

Because television sound wasn't enough, my Beloved hooked up speakers around the entire upstairs living room so Dad will have "theater quality sound".

When people live on your head you hear every footstep. You hear when they run their dishwasher. You note when they've got a leg cramp at 2:30 in the morning and are walking it off. You know exactly where the upstairs tenant is because you can hear them wherever they are.

Sometimes

Sometimes it makes me kinda crazy

It's true

But there have been times when a strange silence floats down from my ceiling and I'll listen...carefully. I'll rack my brain and try to remember if I've heard any movement up there in the last hour or so. I'll peek out the window to see if FIL car is still there.

Is he sleeping?

Is he outside? I didn't hear the front door slam closed...

Is he dead? (and seriously, I do NOT want to find him dead in the upstairs. I've been party to the last two deaths in this family and I do not care to participate in any more!)

I'll wait

I'll listen

Then I'll charge up the stairs to see what's going on.

Sometimes he's at his computer, scanning Ebay for arrows. Other times he'll have snuck out the front door and disappeared out into one of the pastures. He's not a little guy, so sneaking isn't really one of his talents. Yet everyone once in a while, he gets me.

But now I have a new weapon in my arsenal. It's called a cell phone.

For Christmas FIL's good buddy gave him a cell phone. Yes, he gave a cell phone to a man who:

A. Can't see

and

B. Hasn't been able to program ANYTHING since 1968.

Thus far everyone in the house has dealt with FIL and his cell phone. He carries it everywhere. He tinkers with it. He has no idea how to use it, but he still thinks it's important to have one...in case he needs one of us.

And that my friend is a two way street.

Now I can FIND him wherever he goes. There will be no more sneaking off in the early dawn light and not returning until dark, leaving me worried. He won't be able to hide in the back pasture without me being able to locate him. I will never have to wonder if he's killed some innocent family with his car when he's overdue.

I'll just call him.

Technology is a great thing.