Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Here's to Parenting

I met with the Writer today. 'bout time, I know. I miss seeing her on a regular basis, but between both our jobs, families, and sleep, time has become something of a precious commodity. It was grand to sit and chat about things that I can't really discuss with others. See, she's one who knows me, really knows me. She has enough dirt on me to blackmail me. Of course since she knows me so well, she knows I haven't a dime, so she'd rather stay friends than try to squeeze blood from a turnip.

One of the topics we always discuss is our respective kiddos. My boy and her boy are bestest friends and have been for nearly their entire life. They are a good combination and I think they balance each other out pretty well.

Our daughters are close in age, but don't have much in common. However, after the recent, "she's too worldly" episode we experienced, the Writer's daughter made it very clear what she'd like to say to those nasty girls. She even offered to come over and "explain a thing or two" if needed. I'd say she got her hackles up and I know if my girl needs it, the beautiful chicken has got her back.

As my friend and I discussed the kiddies, we both agreed that parenting older children, meaning adult and nearly adult, is very different and in some ways harder than it was years ago. We are both now in the place where our "advice" is not always welcome. It isn't that they are disrespectful, it's more that they have their own ideas and are prepared to move forward on their own.

Don't get me wrong, this is what we want! We don't want them sitting on our sofas, eating our food, and unemployed when they are forty! We want them to grow up and become functioning adults. But what about when you wonder if they are making the best choice? Do you gently suggest another path or let them learn for themselves?

Learning for themselves is's just hard to watch them make mistakes isn't it? That is the heart of it. We are still mommies, regardless of how old the children are.

Yet, it's nice when someone else gives your off-spring the same advice you would give. Perhaps, if the words are coming from someone else, the adult child is more apt to listen. It's certainly a possibility anyway.

So, dearest Writer Girl, thanks for your words to boy about saving money and getting on with life. It meant a lot to me and I'm thankful that we are on the same page.

Oh, and thanks for the coffee :)

1 comment:

Patti said...

it is harder when they are older. we have the wisdom of our hard fought battles and we are more than happy to share, but they need to discover their own way. i try to balance what i want to say against not saying anything. i figure what i do say can be discarded and when i get the look or the sigh, i move along.

seriously, it's harder when they're older. why else would i train for and run in a marathon?