This little dark rain cloud that’s following me around is beginning to get a bit tiresome. Surely there must be other people in the world that it would prefer to rain on…someone besides the ones I love. It isn’t as if I would send bad fortune someone else’s way, it’s only that I’m tired of being mired in the muck of stress and worry.
Between our numerous hospital visits, for my husband and father-in-law, the invasion of the foster girls, and life in general, I’m a bit worn thin. Now I’ve had more bad news. It may not be terrible news, I simply don’t know yet, but it’s bad enough to make my stomach burn and my heart heavy.
It’s the tumor…it’s growing.
In an odd sort of way I’ve always liked the tumor because it reunited me with my best friend. We hadn’t spoken in a couple of years because we are stubborn, opinionated, passionate, moody, women. When the tumor made its first appearance, she wanted to tell me…but we weren’t speaking. Being the intelligent woman that she is, she made a point of telling the biggest gossip in town about the tumor, knowing full well that those lips would be unable to contain such juicy news.
She was right. The Gossip wasted no time in phoning me and demanding that I phone my friend at once! It should be noted and credited that the Gossip withheld most of the important information. I have to admit, that her mysterious operation worked like magic. I made the call. I’ll never forget that conversation:
Phone rings and is answered on her end.
“What the hell is going on?” I demand.
The rest, as they say, is history. We’ve patched up our relationship, agreed to disagree, and have been more open and honest with each than we ever could have been in the past. All because of the tumor and I suppose our maturity.
But it’s back. The tumor, that is.
Last time they simply removed it. No cancer. What if it’s different this time? My mind races with possibilities and my throat chokes with emotion. What if…I can’t even write it but the thoughts mill around in my mind and I can’t seem to stop them.
I’m ready for this cloud to leave and the sun to shine once more, but I get the funny feeling that I’m in this stage of life where things get pretty bumpy. If we all survive than maybe we’ll get to play shuffleboard on one of those senior cruises.