We grow old I mean. Well, if we are lucky, we grow old. Our hair turns gray, our wrinkles have wrinkles, we forget the present and remember the past.
I work with old people.
I now attend an "old" church.
I'm surrounded by the aged.
Of course the problem is that when you are surrounded by the elderly you cannot help but see your future...
It's not really a pretty picture.
There is the lonely, the lost, the distressed.
Some can't see.
Other's can't hear.
And yet they still act like a bunch of high schoolers from an episode of Glee (without all the singing and dancing).
They flirt.
They gossip.
Sometimes they are mean.
I am witness to one dear sweet Christian lady who is slowly losing her mind and it hurts my heart. No amount of reassurance helps. Kind words are softly smiled at and swept away with the delicate wave of her hand. Her blue eyes look into mine with an earnestness I have never seen before and I know in my heart of hearts that she truly believes that someone is entering her apartment and stealing her clothes...while she's home.
My dear, sweet little Peggy. She's lost her keys (they are on the door step). She lost her purse (it's on the sofa). She's going for a walk (without her cane).
And as I watch her toddle around and listen as she calls me dear, I realize that I will probably not be as sweet or as kind when I am 90. I'll be cranky. I'll be moody. No one will think me sweet or precious.
I'm growing older and every now and then I feel a tingle of regret for things undone, for trips not taken, and words that were left unspoken.
There is so much to say...and so little time.
1 comment:
Indeed! All the more reason to tell that person "thank you" or that you love them today. All the more reason for forgiving those that have wronged you today.
Who knows what we have to look forward to in our future? Old age would probably be the best possible outcome for some of us. Some may not live to see that though. Others may not realize a life spent with regrets until they are too old to do anything about it.
And I include myself in all of the above absolutely.
For the record, I think that with your kind heart you will indeed be a sweet old lady someday, Annie.
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