Sometimes I envy those of the socialist background. Those whose greatest ambition is to make sure they don't miss an episode of The Bachelor.
To each his own.
Live and let live.
There is just one thing that's starting to bother me. Okay, truth be told, there are many things that are bothering me, but this is at the forefront of them all.
You know where this is coming from, right?
In a matter of days I'll be on a temporary medical leave from work. I've told my co-workers a little of what's going on. Just enough information that they need to know. I have refrained from giving them the whole enchilada. I told two of my friends at the gym so that they wouldn't worry.
Everyone else who works out at the gym, well, frankly, it's none of your damn business.
The upcoming event is personal. It's all about me. I am not interested in hearing your "horror story". I am even less interested in listening to your dismissal of my feelings. I do not need your sage advice. Nor am I interested in your homeopathic cures, your witch doctors gleanings, or your frightening tarot card readings.
I'm having a bad attitude. I know.
But I really don't care how you feel about my little drama.
Because it is MY drama. My starring role. My stage. My life.
I suppose that some of this stems from my mother's early dismissal of my emotions concerning just about everything in my life. She was always so quick to tell me I was being an idiot or ridiculous. Or dramatic.
And I suppose I am all those and more.
I've made a point of asking those in the "know" to be cautious with details. Sadly, someone, someone I thought I could trust, spilled the beans to their neighbor. Who told their neighbor, who then assaulted me at work with the words, "So, I hear you are going to be out for a while..."
I asked her how she knew and she explained how the details oozed from one house to the other. She started to tell me her "war story" when I cut her off.
"I"m sure you have all sorts of words of wisdom to share with me, but really, you don't know my entire story and I'd really prefer not to discuss it. I'm sure you understand. And I'd really appreciate it if you would keep all this under your hat. I'd like to avoid being the center of attention for the next several days."
She said she understood and let it drop, but I'm miffed that my business is already becoming the gossip around the circuit.
This is what happens when you work with 600 women.
So, I'm trying to keep a low profile. I'm focusing on work, my little green house, my family. I'm longing to have Boy home and thinking about test results that should be back this coming week.
And apparently grinding my teeth in my sleep due to the anxiety it's causing me.
But there is my faith and coffee. I've lost some weight and so has Beloved. I'm working out. I'm sleeping and sometimes a vodka martini sooths my worry.
If I could just stop the chatter!