Saturday, November 06, 2010

A Mom by Any Other Name

Y'all know about my dysfunctional, guilt wielding, heart breaking, mentally disturbed mother. You have to know about her because all I did for several posts was whine about our rotten relationship was and how time after time after time (no this isn't a Cyndi Lauper song) I tried to make things right. But never could.

Then I grew a spine and got over it.

What you may not know is that I have adopted other mommies. A girl needs a mommy. Tis true. Truth be told one of my mommies adopted me, only it took me a little while to realize it.

My first replacement mom was my MIL. Although she never knew it, my biological mother was so jealous of her she couldn't see straight. For the first few years of my marriage to Beloved, my "mother" poisoned my mind toward MIL. It took some time but I eventually began to see her for the wonderful treasure she was. This spring will be eight years since she passed away. Very few days go by that I don't think of her.

Sheila is my first adopted mommy. She is amazing and I am truly blessed to have her in my life. She is the one who taught me how to have a healthy relationship with my own daughter. As I watched Sheila with her daughter I began to grasp what a healthy mother/daughter relationship looked like. Then, when Sheila became a grandma, without ever saying a word, she backed up everything that my MIL had shown me about the importance of an older woman in a child's life.

Second up, and not that there is really an order, is Fran. Fran who has never had any children. Fran who is a chef, a painter, and has more money than anyone else I know. She has taught me the key to generosity and that a truly wealthy person is the one who gives to others in need. Her tireless efforts on behalf of college students far from home, families with children dying of cancer, and the elderly, have blessed more than she probably realizes. Fran's just funny that way.

All that and she taught me to make Creme  Bruelee, the prefect roasted chicken, and a fish stew that could very well bring world peace. Yum.

There's Anne with and "E", who at fifty was courted by her second husband. I say "courted" because they actually stuck to that old term and kept things on course. I remember well her sharing her views on the difference between "dating" and "courtship" at a luncheon when my, then little girl, was present. She candidly and openly shared about her first marriage (he died in a car accident) to an abusive, alcoholic husband. Then her face beamed as she shared about her courtship to her soon to be new husband, a man of value, honor, and faith. It was beautiful.

Today, these three women, along with a handful of others, are throwing me a house shower. When I explained that it wasn't necessary, after all we just got rid of a bunch of stuff! Ann with an E announced that it was necessary! "We are all so happy for you and want to shower you with blessings and good wishes!"

I love my Moms!


T. Paine said...

That is fantastic that you have such marvelous women in your life!

It is also great that they wish to give you a house "shower". You and hubby deserve it!

Roo said...

VERY COOL indeed! I'm so glad that, in-spite of the woman that gave you life, you have some good "mother figures" in your life. We do all need that! Enjoy your house shower.

Island Rider said...

How sweet! I wish I could be there to join you.

Barrie said...

I think it will be a wonderful shower.