In celebration of 500+ posts I am giving away a Starbucks card, it's the life blood of tired, cranky, mom's everywhere. Leave me a comment and I'll randomly draw a name. You'll have to trust me on this!
Once upon a time, I wanted to be a nurse. Then I wanted to be a writer or a lawyer. Somewhere in the foggy past, I saw myself as a conqueror of great obstacles. A woman to be admired and adored. Of course, all of these wildly, passionate thoughts were during my post-children era.
Along came baby number one, a son. A bright, shining boy who would forever change the course of my life and make me a better person simply because God gave Boy to me. Having this child taught me new and amazing truths about myself. Not that I was any less ambitious, but my priorities changed and somewhere between conquering the world and conquering the laundry, I became more MOM and less ME.
After the birth of child number two (a daughter) my life turned into a cycle of sleepless nights and terribly lonely days. I lost the picture of myself as a conqueror and found in it's place a tired, cranky, woman whose only remaining goal was to get at least four hours of sleep per night and not kill the husband (who got to leave the apartment prison every single day and interact with ADULTS at work).
Time, as the saying goes, marches on, and the children are now high schoolers. Brilliant, happy, young adults who give me more pleasure than pain. These two amazing humans call me mom...But sometimes I wonder if they realize that I am more (OH, so much more) than MOM. Please don't misunderstand me, I do NOT want them to call me by my given name. I want them to know that being their mother has been the greatest adventure of my lifetime and I would not trade these last 16 years for all the money in the world.
I want them, especially my dearest, willowy, blond daughter to know that I am more than just a mom. I am a woman of passions and possibilities.
6 comments:
Hi -
I missed this on the first go-around, but I'm glad I caught it this time.
Can I enter your contest? I'm not a Mom, but I am a stepmom.
susanjreinhardt (at) gmail (dot) com
Blessings,
Susan :)
Of course Susan! Long time no see! Anyone can enter a contest here at The Middle of Where? LOL!
It's funny that you posted this today because I was thinking this morning about almost the same thing. The kids see me as one thing yet I see myself as so much more. Do you think they'll realize when they're older and look back that the woman who was doing laundry was dreaming of diving the Great Barrier Reef?
Probably not LOL
Congrats on reaching 500 posts! :)
"I lost the picture of myself as a conqueror and found in it's place a tired, cranky, woman whose only remaining goal was to get at least four hours of sleep per night and not kill the husband." Heh! I love it. Congrats on all that posting.
This really an amazing post. Its freaky, thinking about our past, the dreams we have dreamed and comparing it with our present life. Even I had a dream like yours, to be a Rock Star with a seven digit bank balance but here I am in New Delhi Stuck in a box working my ass just to pay the bills. In your case, it turn out to be better as you have such wonderful kids in your life. Hope mine will also turn out better with time.
Am 26 and i most of my buddies are married and have toddlers and watching them, I have started fantasizing about having kids.. But I have to get married first. LOl.
Starbucks is not just for Cranky mom's its also for sell out corporate executives like me. It's the only reason why I stay awake at work. LOL
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