Thursday, April 08, 2010

When All Else Fails

Wake up

Drive to Rehab

Spend one to two hours with FIL

Drive home

Eat lunch

Go to work

Come home and go to bed

This has been my life for the past week.

On the upside, other people take care of FIL when I am not there. On the down side, FIL will probably be home in ten days or so, then he'll be my problem 24/7 and I'll still have to work and try to get all the other crap I have to do done.

Yesterday, FIL told me that Beloved and I should do some of the things we'd like to do. We shouldn't wait. We should travel, hike, enjoy each other. I nodded at him but thought, "That would be great, but who will take care of you?" I didn't say anything. It's not his fault.


Beloved and I had a long talk about the future. Depending on how you look at it, it's either bright with possibilities or dark with hopelessness.

And I guess that's what is really getting me; the choice I need to make.

Complaining about how things are does not change things. It just makes you look and feel like a whiny baby who needs to man up and get on with it.

On the other hand, sometimes I like cheese with my whine!

I can choose to be like my mother and whine and snivel and blame everyone else for the bitter disappointments in my life or I can shake it off, stand tall, and get er done.

When all else fails and I'm starting to lose my sanity I will:

Take a long walk
Make a lovely meal for those I adore
Clean like a mad woman (I do this when stressed out - it's very therapeutic)

I promise to:

Keep my sarcastic, snotty, opinion to myself (stop laughing)
Refrain from using colorful language to get my point across (really, the laughing is overkill)
Not drink or eat myself into a stupor (are you finished laughing yet?)

This is all I've got and I've got to make it work. Otherwise, I'm selling everything I own, getting on a plane, and never looking back.


wendybird said...

Don't you dare get a plane ticket without me!!!!! In all seriousness...I agree with you. Thank you for clarifying...for me...what I need to do...and stop doing. But, I too like a little "whine" with my cheese....and anything else for that matter... :)

Kristen said...

Is it horrible that I often feel like you're describing MY life and I'm only 28? Sigh. You so eloquently put the feelings I avoid entertaining into words.