Monday, August 18, 2008

I Should Be...

Okay, so I'm feeling a bit sluggish. I should be doing my homework that's due tomorrow. I should do the dishes that are sitting in the sink. I really should fold the laundry that's cooling and wrinkling in the dryer. Sadly, or happily depending on how you look at it, I'm not doing anything I should be doing.

Instead I'm here with you, my good, dear friends.

You don't care that I have a price presentation to completely memorize by tomorrow. You would like right past those dishes in the kitchen and you wouldn't even peak in the dryer to see what's lying there. You're just that kind of friend.

It's just been a long day. I got up at 5:30 because my physical therapy appointment was at 7:00. However, at 6:10 they called to cancel because my PT was ill. Beloved doesn't work on Monday's so he's asleep. Master W is asleep. Miss C, of course, is still asleep. But I'm wide, flippin', awake.

I also had class today, which I was looking forward to until I realized that today was the day that we practiced measuring. Guess who got to be the fatty, er, I mean, the model? Yours truly. I made it in to a big joke, really. I kept telling one girl to stop touching my butt and that I wasn't really her type. We were all rolling with laughter, but inside, inside I hated it.

Have I shared with you how I despise my body? Hate.It. Yes, thank you, I do remember that I am wearing two sizes smaller than I was wearing a few months ago. I know. I know.

Prepare for a big, long whine here:

It's taking soooo long. Why is it taking so long?

I've been at this since the end of April. My buddy has lost like thirty pounds. Seriously, thirty pounds. My body just loves my fat. Because my test results came back NORMAL. No thyroid problems, no diabetes, nada.

That being said, I should be skinny or at least skinnier.

The only thing I can think of is the incredibly small does of steroid inhaler I've been taking to control my asthma. It's got to be that. Last night was the last time I took the inhaler. I'm not taking it again.

(Should I expire before my next blog entry, please send money instead of flowers. We've got kids to put through college)

Still, I should be doing all sorts of things instead of whining about this. But as luck would have it one of my blog addictions just started writing a runners blog for the San Antonio Express Blog. I should be doing a lot of other things, but I think I click over to Rock and Roll San Antonio and read Patty's new blog. She's always good for a laugh!

Won't you join me?


Patti said...

just know that every woman thinks she sucks at some point. i say we STOP IT! if God thinks we rock as is, you the hell are we to contradict him?! so, you, my dear, are a rocking woman and i think you are just fine even if you never ever lost one more ounce. you are way more than what you weigh. yeah, you are.

and thanks for the plug.

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

When the doctor put me on steroids after surgery, I ate EVERYTHING in sight. So, even a small dose might be affecting your weight loss.

Any endeavor, whether losing weight or some other long-term project, takes commitment. I found Ann & Ray Ortlund's book, "You Don't Have to Quit," helpful. Stay the course, and you'll reap the rewards.

Susan :)

amyanne said...

I so hear you...I used to be so flippant about loosing was easy for I'd gain it and lose it, gain it, lose it. (Was I crazy?). Now it's so hard (possibly because I'm sitting here at this desk for days on end?) I just started running again...daily. It's painful, but worth it. Not just for the weight loss, but I feel so much better. Duh. Why did I ever stop?

All that to say...keep going. Don't give up! ")

Sandcastle Momma said...

I think you should be really proud of the fact that you're 2 sizes smaller! I've been fat and I've been skinny and skinny isn't that great LOL I'm fat again but this time I just don't care so much. Give it time and the weight will come off but don't beat yourself up about it!

My Ice Cream Diary said...

I'm currently suffering from cognitive dossonance about my body. I feel GREAT now that I'm not pregnant. I feel like a million bucks and want to shout it from the rooftops. And then I look down and see the left overs of 9 months of way over eating and too much sitting. Lets just say the two feelings just don't jive. But I'm trying to be patient... trying.

My Ice Cream Diary said...