Wednesday, May 21, 2008

The Letter



I would like to thank you for providing foster care for Z-Monster and The Destroyer. As you are aware, the children were returned to the care of their mother on ______ and your foster home certification closed at that time. This letter is to notify you that we are closing the file.


The letter came. I knew it would. Why then does it hurt? We haven’t seen those two tiny tyrants for almost two months. We’ve been allowed to speak to them on the phone three times. Let me rephrase that, we’ve been allowed to listen to the chaos and fighting when we attempt to talk to them on the phone.

Sigh

I wish I wasn’t so emotional. I wish I had a cold, hard heart that could simply shut out any tiny blondie girl that tried to worm her way in.

I wish I had Alzheimer’s, so that I didn’t remember the sparkle of blue eyes and those mischievous smiles.

I wish I was deaf so that I had never heard, “I wuv you” or “I wish I could live with you forever”. I wish I’d never heard The Destroyers first belly laugh.

If only I were blind, I would never have watched two tiny lost girls run with glee into the arms of their Auntie Teri or their beloved Daddy Alan.

Word is, Bio-Mom is planning a big move at the end of summer. It’s a move that will take her far enough away that the possibility of our ever seeing the girls is slim at best.

And…Maybe that’s for the best.

6 comments:

GreenishLady said...

Oh, that is really a painful situation... But you do know that what you gave those girls will be with them throughout their lives, and they are likely to hold memories that no move can erase. I feel really bad for you right now.

Kiva said...

What can I say... ??? I'm praying for you.

TJBrown said...

great. make me cry. I miss them too.
Teri

Barrie said...

It takes a special person to do foster care. You're that special kind of person, Miss Annie.

Family Adventure said...

I'm terribly sorry, Ms Annie. I had convinced myself that there would be continued contact.

Your heart is beautiful and I'm glad it isn't cold and cynical.

Heidi

My Ice Cream Diary said...

My heart hurts just reading this. I can't imagine having to go through this, myself. I hope your faith can see you through it.