The Letter

I would like to thank you for providing foster care for Z-Monster and The Destroyer. As you are aware, the children were returned to the care of their mother on ______ and your foster home certification closed at that time. This letter is to notify you that we are closing the file.

The letter came. I knew it would. Why then does it hurt? We haven’t seen those two tiny tyrants for almost two months. We’ve been allowed to speak to them on the phone three times. Let me rephrase that, we’ve been allowed to listen to the chaos and fighting when we attempt to talk to them on the phone.

Sigh

I wish I wasn’t so emotional. I wish I had a cold, hard heart that could simply shut out any tiny blondie girl that tried to worm her way in.

I wish I had Alzheimer’s, so that I didn’t remember the sparkle of blue eyes and those mischievous smiles.

I wish I was deaf so that I had never heard, “I wuv you” or “I wish I could live with you forever”. I wish I’d never heard The Destroyers first belly laugh.

If only I were blind, I would never have watched two tiny lost girls run with glee into the arms of their Auntie Teri or their beloved Daddy Alan.

Word is, Bio-Mom is planning a big move at the end of summer. It’s a move that will take her far enough away that the possibility of our ever seeing the girls is slim at best.

And…Maybe that’s for the best.