My birthday is coming up next month. I'm pushing fast towards 50, but I'm not 50 yet!
No, not yet.
I'm just gettin' close. Real. Close.
Close enough to reflect on these past years of my life.
Mine is not a real exciting life. I haven't climbed mountains or soared with eagles. I'm kind of a stay at home girl. We had our babies....and raised them. Then we took on two more...because that's just how we roll.
I have a friend whose living my life. The life I have always felt I should/would/could be mine.
She writes for a living. She teaches. She cooks organic/gourmet. She travels. She loves her job. She hangs' with her buddies. She has a bucket list.
I have a bucket too. It usually contains mop water. I don't write, not like I thought I would. I don't teach, I barely cook and I seldom travel. Friends? Ha! Who has time?
Every time I read of some amazing adventure or new opportunity that this friend has, I sigh a little. I do not sigh because I regret the path I've chose, it's just that....I thought there would be, you know, more.
More of what? I don't know.
Life is good. Our adoption will finalize in a few weeks. The girls have settled down a bit more. There's a pattern to our days. We are healthy, at least reasonably so. We're employed, something to be truly thankful for.
So, why do I sigh?
Then, I had a light bulb moment. It came to me when I was looking at custom jewelry site. One of the metal stamped necklaces simply said:
YOU ARE MY BUCKET LIST
Children - YOU are my great adventure! YOU are my sunny day at the beach, my whirlwind tour of strange and new place, my inspired painting.
From music & art to athletics and drama, it's all you kids.
I feel so happy about this! Because it proves what I've always, always felt. I am more than just a middle aged woman.
I am a mom.
And I'm a good one too!