There has been lots of straight talk on this blog about the rough times of a Foster family. In many ways, it's my way of coping with difficult situations. In other ways I just want people to know that it's NOT all easy or good. Those pictures you see of children waiting for families are not a true representation of the child who moves into your home.
Perhaps you get that. Maybe I don't need to stress (again and again) how hard fostering is.
Truth be told, we could use a little balance around here...don't you agree?
Let me tell some good things:
It is a good thing when your foster kid grills the social worker on why the adoption process is so long. It means she wants to stay.
I love it when the entire family can watch Duck Dynasty together. Everyone enjoys it and everyone laughs. It's a good evening.
When housework just gets done without being asked. KK is becoming known for her random, drive-by dish washing, vacuuming, or floor sweeping. She saw that it needed to be done and she just did it. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, ahhhh it's wonderful. It shows that she is claiming to be a member of this family and that she has a desire to please.
It's a good thing when Hay-Hay tells me a secret. Trusting is hard, especially when it's something that she feels is embarrassing.
I cannot help but laugh to see our three girls wrestle. KK is a formidable opponent. Girl has had three years of Judo and Hay-Hay is just a scrapper! Look out!
There are good times. They come unexpectedly and in ways you wouldn't expect.
As the years pass, will there be more good than bad? I hope so. Are these good days the ones that keep us clinging to the hope of an unbreakable bond? Yes, yes indeed.
Will I have to watch the Justin Bieber movie again and again and again?
Will I sacrifice sleeping in every Saturday in September and October just to attend a soccer game? You bet.
Looking back over these months of struggle and strife, it's clear to see that the human condition is alive and well in our home. If I dwell only on the fighting and the drama, I am blinded to the fact that God asked us to do this and He will see it through the end.
For good or bad.
And what if His plan included the girls being adopted by a different family? It could happen. The Adoption Panel could chose a younger family. They could chose a richer family. They could just chose someone else. Or, what if the biological family comes up with a way to stay the adoption, leaving the girls in limbo or, shudder, forcing them to live with an unknown relative in a different state. It could happen. It's happened before.
It's thoughts like this that I believe cause a great deal of the stress and tension in this house. KK knows all these things. She is well versed in the ways of that State. Hay-Hay doesn't get it, but she feeds off of her sister's emotions.
So while we occasionally crawl out of the valley and scamper up the sides of the mountain, it isn't always what we expect. Thus, it's better to just live in the moment and not worry about the days ahead. Enjoy the view from the top and never look down the other side. Let tomorrow worry about tomorrow.