We've been invited to the foster families annual party. It was supposed to have taken place last week, but everyone had the Whoopin' Cough so we stayed home.
I don't know how I feel about tomorrow nights event. I want to see the girls, but I know we'll be sharing them with many other foster family members. Part of me wants to scoop them up and steal them home so I can watch and listen for red flags.
The wiser, more mature side wants to sit back tomorrow and watch and listen. How do the girls act in a group? Are they aware of the smaller children and how do they treat them? Are they kind? Are they self-centered? Are they aware?
We are still waiting on paperwork, so we can't take them anywhere yet.
Does anyone or any thing move slower than a State agency?
I had lunch with a close friend the other day who told me point blank that I am out of my ever - lovin' mind. The can of worms I may be opening up very well could explode in my face. Our lives may never be the same.
Yeah, I got it.
Of course I'm worried.
Of course I'm unprepared.
Of course I'm crazy.
But what am I supposed to do? Say no?
Sometimes I think I should say no. I should say all the things that bounce around in my head and save myself a great deal of heartache and stress.
But then I think about a single sentence that one of my adopted mom's said to me a few weeks ago:
"If good people do not step in to do good, then bad people WILL step in to do bad."
Not that I am good...but I think you get the point. We all have choices. We can choose to do as much good as we possible can on this earth.
We can say no. We can say it's too hard. We can say it's too far outside my comfort zone. We can say we are too busy, too lazy, too comfortable. We can turn and walk away and push the guilt to the back of our minds.
It's easy to say no.
It is hard to say, yes.
And the funny thing is, as I sit here writing this, I know (I know!) that all these doubts will melt when I see two little, homeless, parentless, girls tomorrow.
Maybe saying yes, isn't as hard as we think it is.